i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
