my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize