hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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