So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
