Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
