I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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