I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just had sex bonerless
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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