I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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