What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
