No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
