absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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