If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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