I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i've created a new STD.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
