She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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