Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
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