Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
