One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
