Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
