this boner is exhausting
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
