my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
A+ Viking dick
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
