Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
