We won't sleep together?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
