I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize