So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
