if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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