i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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