what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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