It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
