wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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