we have pet lesbian snakes
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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