Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
