If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
