with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize