I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
