Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
