id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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