She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
