You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
