Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
