Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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