I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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