It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
