At least make sure they are 18
Why
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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