I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
