Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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