I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
