At least make sure they are 18
Why
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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