if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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