I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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