i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
