he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
