do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
