I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
