Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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