By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
