Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
