Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize