remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
