Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Blood and glitter go together right?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
