she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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