I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
