Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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