I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
