so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
