how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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