its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize