Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
