Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
